Thought Provoking Article on Inter-racial relationships/ Desi Identity

[Summy]

Even though people might roll their eyes (rightfully so) at the source of this article (NY Post), it is an article that is extremely though provoking. It is written by a desi reporter who gives her insight on relationships within and without her culture. I think it was interesting, simply written, probably an article most of this auidence can appreciate.

I emplore everyone to read it (kind of an old article)

http://www.nypost.com/p/news/opinion/opedcolumnists/item_UF5UTt2EEtUoUgmuRwGG7K

What are your thoughts? I personally extended her thoughts beyond just relationships. I just always find it interesting how cultural assoications are made in young adults who are raised in the west.

There is a line in the article that is fascinating... she says "I remember him looking at me on an evening not far from our last and saying, “It’s like all of a sudden you became Indian.” In a way so quiet I didn’t even realize it was happening, the brown from my skin must have seeped in and colored my heart."

Some commentary on Sepia Mutiny brings about the question... "Is being TOO desi,brown, indian, punjabi etc... a bad thing?"... I feel like there is a balancing act with many young adults in our community (i felt it as well) with balancing how desi you can be... You dont want to be TOO desi, because then you are a "dipper" or a "FOB" (whats too desi? you tell me).... then you dont want to be too far from desi because you are a "coconut", "sell out" etc...

I just found this article interesting because it is an identity issue that many desi's feel, especially when you come from "traditional families"...

What are peoples feelings on their identity, balancing, and other aspects that arise from this articles... If people can I would like to hear their experiences and thoughts OUTSIDE the realm of inter-racial relationships (been talked to death on BTF)

Interested to hear your thoughts

 

[COMTONDAJATT]

Good find, I remember reading the article when it came out. A random thought I had was I think a lot of identity issues stem from the fact that most of us are first generation kids from immigrants. Sometimes our elders lived in totally different worlds and cultures that when they see their kids being raised in another it sets them aback a bit and then they try to instill some semblence of normalcy by instilling certain values, whether they be religious, cultural or nationalistic. There was an article I read about 2nd and 3rd generation Italian-Americans and their identity issues and they seemed to have lost major cultural cornerstones like speaking the language and following the traditions but still took pride and claimed to live by core values. Was pretty interesting.

 

[Nikhil]

Firstly, I think the article was great. Really easy read and I could imagine exactly where she was coming from. Actually it made me smile and laugh several times.

In regards to your question: "What are peoples feelings on their identity, balancing, and other aspects that arise from this articles..."

My identity is much like the one of the author's: Indian and American. I was born here, and raised here, only getting the chance to go to India and Africa once so far in my life. I went to both parts of the world to see my family, how my mother and father grew up, and to understand what shaped their liberal philosophy. Don't get me wrong, my father is still the typical Indian male who puts Gujarati language and culture first, and respect for elders a close second, but my mother's twist on up bringing made those same issues common sense to me. That's why I have no problem adhering to them.
I love India, but I don't think it's accurate to say that I'm bias or ignorant for loving America slightly more. This country is my home, and I am an American Citizen before I'm an Indian one. That's not to say that I do not practice the rituals that make me unique; I am a practicing Hindu who still takes his shoes off before walking about his house!

My parents definitely made this easier for me. Raising 3 sons is no joke, especially when we throw down haha. But they made something very very very clear: family is first. Family means more to me than religion. Out of being there for my family, I get a sense of who to worship in a deity. Everyone will say that their parents are the best in some facet, and honestly they are, because in many ways they've allowed our generation to commit to this balancing act. Look, right here...we're on a Bhangra forum speaking in English...talking about life as an American Desi...how perfect of an example is that?

When it comes to relationships, I think the majority of us feel the same as the author. I know I do, and because my girlfriend is more conservative than me (South Indian born), she reminds me of what culture is like for her, and enables me to be mindful of what I should do as well. I don't forget that I'm Indian ever, but sometimes the drawback to being a Proud American is that you lose your time in organizing your day with respect given to your actual heritage. The mindset of this society is that NOTHING should stop. Everything should keep going (24-7 drive thru's at McDonalds). Because your jobs, your schooling reflects that, you sometimes have to put societal demands before your personal ones, and in those instances, your personal agenda of keeping up with your culture takes a back seat. That's where we have to strive to balance it out.

 

[pluthra]

Ok so I read this article in the morning. Went to school, I'm walking in and I see indians (not saying theres no indians on campus but ok i dunno)...The car door opened up and out bursts some song from some movie (I think taal-while something from that time period). And I wanted to laugh (i really dont know why). And then I thought about this, and was like wait why do I wanna laugh I dont understand. I mean I dont go around bumping bollywood songs, but I mean I got my mix of songs, which in there are a few bollywood songs that I would listen to. So, I guess I'm confused (not about the scenario....the scenario just represents how i'm not sure were I fall).

At times yaa I love being Indian etc, but I'm not the person to go out and flaunt it. And then at times, I know that I just want to dissociate with the fact of being Indian. Does anyone ever have those moments, you hope no one will notice your indian. I think it happens to me most when other Indians are looking for people to cling to. Like in class, I know some people will try to find the other Indians to get notes, etc off of. And you see group projects, its always like all the Indians are in one group. And you really don't want to talk to them because they get soooo annoying. But then at the same time you know you can't dissociate from the Indians because it turns out that its so easy to talk to them and what not. And your like ughh OOKK I'll bring out the brown in me for a bit. But then again it gets soooo annoying that you know so many brown people your like ughhh I don't want to know you all, but then again you have a huge sense of community.

I hate having to go up to someone and be like soo are you indian? Oh sick where from etc. I mean hey great way to start a conversation with an absolute stranger, but seriously nowww!! I guess its the fact of that label being placed on me. I personally don't want to be identified by a label (whether it be my race, religion, etc etc) because the people who tend to do that also tend to live off that label. For example, there's this kid who found out yaa I am indian, and talks about school and then to keep the conversation going will talk about the latest bollywood films and upcoming concerts....snooozeeee. Now in no way do I think that I'm more American or more Indian in any aspect. I basically try to get rid of both labels when it comes down to it because I think there's more to be known that just that.

But at the end of the day, I know my best friends are Indian, except for one who is Arab, but I guess we're so close because she basically she's been raised up in the same type of environment. So then, I don't know am I just brown?