Levels.
I never like to say that something is "good" because it makes people stop trying harder. If this comes across as harsh, then I'm not sure what else to do other than just to not write a critique.
First things first. The bass is far too high for this to sound balanced. The vocals get lost in the bassline, which in itself is distracting due to its volume.
I hear only four levels to this mix: Kicks, Hi Hats, snare, and Bassline. This can be totally fine if the original elements of the song are kept or enhanced but you've all but muted the dhol.
The vocals are improperly stretched. All stereo work done by the original producer is thrown into the trash. In the mix, the vocals are flattened and simply put in front of the listener. If you like that, then that's your thing, but I personally enjoy dynamic in vocals. The double tracked vocals should sound as such with variety in the sound stage. The hi-hat clashes too much with the flow.. like the song is "mitha" and you've given it a grimier feel with the bassline and it doesn't really work for me.
The kick is very amateur sounding honestly. As if you just put it on the canvas untreated. Perhaps it was just the choice of kick but its decay is so short, and punchy its like... there could be something there but it got cut-off.
:49 the kick is off beat on the little roll thing you tried to do.
This is all that's going through my mind right now. It's way late lol.
No harm intended with any of what I said, it's all to make us better artists. Hopefully it all makes sense - if it doesn't lemme know I'll explain in more detail via PM.