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Interesting Question for all BTF members...
- Thread starter Jeeti
- Start date
Kush
Active Member
- Messages
- 1,401
YO my whole family tried to marry me off two days ago. Theyre like seriously, just sit on stage (I'm in india for my cousins wedding) and we'll kill two birds with one stone. When I mentioned the absence of a girl, they're like that's easy. lol...
There is NO way i could deal with an "arranged" marriaged defined as my parents bringing around a couple of girls for me to choose from, we meet 2-3 times, and then tie the knot. I don't mind the idea of being introduced to someone by my parents or family, and letting us take it from there, but it would have to transpire as a proper relationship. Many people have already mentioned things that would be important to me as that relationship developed:
- Respecting my family (and in turn, i would do everything i could to treat them like my own)
- Flexible to different values/views, by which i mean compromising from both sides to balance out.
- Similar principles in serious matters, such as financial balance, career goals, etc.
- Plenty more
I think these things are absent, or FORCED in an arranged marriage. Plus, u don't necessarily know what youre getting into. It's like going to an interview: you show the best of yourself for that 1 hour, and someone has to make a big decision based on it. Just my 2 cents...
There is NO way i could deal with an "arranged" marriaged defined as my parents bringing around a couple of girls for me to choose from, we meet 2-3 times, and then tie the knot. I don't mind the idea of being introduced to someone by my parents or family, and letting us take it from there, but it would have to transpire as a proper relationship. Many people have already mentioned things that would be important to me as that relationship developed:
- Respecting my family (and in turn, i would do everything i could to treat them like my own)
- Flexible to different values/views, by which i mean compromising from both sides to balance out.
- Similar principles in serious matters, such as financial balance, career goals, etc.
- Plenty more
I think these things are absent, or FORCED in an arranged marriage. Plus, u don't necessarily know what youre getting into. It's like going to an interview: you show the best of yourself for that 1 hour, and someone has to make a big decision based on it. Just my 2 cents...
this is a very interesting topic
here is something i came across a while back, thought i would share. shows what some people go through wen they are forced into an arranged marriage. i can't imagine somethin like this happening to me. i don't know how people can let someone else choose who they will be spending their life with. I would rather find my own girl no matter what i have to go through for that. crazy..
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Everyone wants that perfect moment where you look at someone and realize that you are meant to be, I do too. I probably imagined a thousand little scenarios in my head of that perfect moment with the perfect person in that perfect place. Sadly, very few people actually get to experience that moment, I am also one of those people. I will never get to experience that beautiful moment or that wonderful feeling of first finding love. I want to find that guy, the guy that is perfect for me, the guy that I love and want to spend the rest of my life with. I have so many dreams. That the right guy will be like this or like that and will look like this, wear that. I am going to have to accept whatever life gives me. I have to give up on my dreams. My future has been decided for me. The guy that I have to spend the rest of my life with has been decided for me. I watch so many movies. My friends tease me about all the movies that I watch. They don?t know the real reason why I this. They don?t understand. I watch romantic movies, about weddings, about romance, to get away from my own life. Since I can?t have what I want in life, I watch movies to make up for that loss. It is the only way for me to escape reality. For two hours I am in a world that I always imagined myself to be. Even though it?s temporary and not even real, it still feels a lot better than reality. In those two hours, I watch other people living out their dreams and finding happiness and true love. Everything that I will never find and experience. But I like seeing that at least someone gets their happy ending and finds their perfect match, even if I can?t. When I see so many of my friends that have found love and their perfect partners, ridiculously in love with each other, I feel so jealous. I want someone that will love me and care for me and always be there for me, make me happy. Do the little things just to put a smile on my face. I want it so bad. And then reality hits like a slap on the face. I realize that it will never happen. No matter how this guy turns out to be, he will never be the perfect one for me. The perfect guy from my dreams. I might even start to love him. But like one of my friends said, I won?t be IN love with him. And that makes me so sad. Why can?t I find love? What have I done, that God is putting me through all of this. I can?t even share all these feelings with anyone. All I can do is write them down. I wish I had someone to share all this with. But I don?t. No one will truly understand me. No one knows how it feels like to be in this situation. They all think im exaggerating. And that I will get over it. How do you get over the fact that your dreams will never come true? That you will never find love? Never even have a chance of finding love? Or finding that right guy and having that perfect moment? I would really like to know. How do you get over all that?
here is something i came across a while back, thought i would share. shows what some people go through wen they are forced into an arranged marriage. i can't imagine somethin like this happening to me. i don't know how people can let someone else choose who they will be spending their life with. I would rather find my own girl no matter what i have to go through for that. crazy..
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Everyone wants that perfect moment where you look at someone and realize that you are meant to be, I do too. I probably imagined a thousand little scenarios in my head of that perfect moment with the perfect person in that perfect place. Sadly, very few people actually get to experience that moment, I am also one of those people. I will never get to experience that beautiful moment or that wonderful feeling of first finding love. I want to find that guy, the guy that is perfect for me, the guy that I love and want to spend the rest of my life with. I have so many dreams. That the right guy will be like this or like that and will look like this, wear that. I am going to have to accept whatever life gives me. I have to give up on my dreams. My future has been decided for me. The guy that I have to spend the rest of my life with has been decided for me. I watch so many movies. My friends tease me about all the movies that I watch. They don?t know the real reason why I this. They don?t understand. I watch romantic movies, about weddings, about romance, to get away from my own life. Since I can?t have what I want in life, I watch movies to make up for that loss. It is the only way for me to escape reality. For two hours I am in a world that I always imagined myself to be. Even though it?s temporary and not even real, it still feels a lot better than reality. In those two hours, I watch other people living out their dreams and finding happiness and true love. Everything that I will never find and experience. But I like seeing that at least someone gets their happy ending and finds their perfect match, even if I can?t. When I see so many of my friends that have found love and their perfect partners, ridiculously in love with each other, I feel so jealous. I want someone that will love me and care for me and always be there for me, make me happy. Do the little things just to put a smile on my face. I want it so bad. And then reality hits like a slap on the face. I realize that it will never happen. No matter how this guy turns out to be, he will never be the perfect one for me. The perfect guy from my dreams. I might even start to love him. But like one of my friends said, I won?t be IN love with him. And that makes me so sad. Why can?t I find love? What have I done, that God is putting me through all of this. I can?t even share all these feelings with anyone. All I can do is write them down. I wish I had someone to share all this with. But I don?t. No one will truly understand me. No one knows how it feels like to be in this situation. They all think im exaggerating. And that I will get over it. How do you get over the fact that your dreams will never come true? That you will never find love? Never even have a chance of finding love? Or finding that right guy and having that perfect moment? I would really like to know. How do you get over all that?
Raji
Member
- Messages
- 135
How do you not know that the person that your arranged to you won't fall in love with? I think that?s a fake story that maybe true...but if you spend enough time with someone and you truly are trying to make the relationship work at some point you'll find a week spot for them. I'm sure the person you're parents will suggest for you would only be the best of the best- I know my parents wouldn't hook me up with a loser or someone they knew I wouldn't hit it off with.
I don't believe in arranged marriages but I think a better term would be "suggested marriages!" 8)
I don't believe in arranged marriages but I think a better term would be "suggested marriages!" 8)